Sports – The Mirror

Promising New Athletes Help Grow Nordic Ski Team

February 18, 2023 by Mitchell Baker

While the Northwood Soccer and Hockey teams have been getting a lot of attention, the Northwood Ski program has also been building and accomplishing great feats. After all, our school is in Lake Placid, home of two Winter Olympics!

Led by the Director of Skiing, Tommy Biesemeyer, Northwood’s ski team of 26 students comprises 11 girls and 10 boys in the Alpine and 5 students in the Nordic ski teams.

Nordic skiers Daven Linck ’25, Sophia Kelting ’23, Bella Wissler ’23, and Abigail Van Dorn ’25. (Photo: Northwood NYSEF/Instagram).

Alpine skiing is the standard type of skiing with steep slopes, skis with metal edges to cut and carve into the slopes and the rigid boots fully locked into the ski. Nordic skiing is often referred to as cross-country skiing, where the terrain is not as steep, the skis are narrow, and the bindings allow the heel to remain free.

Coach Biesemeyer (or “BZ”) joined Northwood, having been a professional racer for 12 years and represented the USA at the 2018 Olympics. Northwood School also has a longstanding relationship with the New York Ski Education Foundation (NYSEF), and all the student-athletes are members of this body. NYSEF is the only Gold Certified club in New York State and provides support and opportunities for athletes to further their snow sports careers. The Northwood Ski program has grown since its origin in 1950, and the latest crop of talent has added greater depth to the team. In particular, the Nordic team welcomed 3 new students this year—Daven Linck, Abigail (Abby) Van Dorn and Jack Kroll, all sophomores.

“The Nordic program here at Northwood is growing; it has changed over the past 2 years. Last year it was just Sophia Kelting and me, and we were kind of forerunning how the program would look for a bigger team. Now that the team is growing, it is running smoothly and helping us to be stronger skiers,” says Bella Wissler ‘23. “With Daven, we now have a male skier on the Northwood Nordic team. He is a strong skier and has been doing extremely well this year. Abby joining the team this year added depth and she is a biathlete (skis and shoots) which is pretty cool! So, we have two biathletes which is the most Northwood has ever had,” Wissler notes with passion.

Kelting adds, “We are also hoping to kind of advertise and get some interest for more kids to join the program here and the team at Junior Nationals this year in Alaska. We are hoping for some good results this year to help promote the school. We have been skiing with Daven and Abby for a very long time. They are also from Lake Placid and Saranac Lake so it’s not a huge change for us. It’s been very good having them here.”

The team’s strength was on show at the recent Empire State Winter Games, held in the region on 2-5^thFebruary. It is the largest Olympic-style winter event in the Northeast and Northwood School was ably represented in the Nordic events by Sophia Kelting, Abby Van Dorn, Daven Linck and Bella Wissler. Over 3 days, athletes of all ages competed in 23 winter sports, including sliding sports, figure skating, sled hockey, winter biking, Alpine and Nordic skiing.

The cross-country skiing was held at Mt. Van Hoevenberg and the Nordic team competed in 2 events. Again, for the non-skiers, there are two methods used in cross-country skiing. The first is the classic method, a technique in which the athlete’s skies move back and forth in a parallel motion inside parallel grooves of snow. The freestyle technique is the fastest of the two methods, where the skier moves their feet from side to side in a manner resembling ice skating more so than classic-style cross-country skiing.

In the 10km Freestyle mass start (everyone starts at the same time) event, Kelting won the U20 Women’s comfortably in a time of 32:41 minutes. Van Dorn placed 3^rd in the U18 Women’s and Linck placed 4^th in the U18 Men’s event.

In the 7.5km Classic Pursuit (skiers start according to results in previous races), Kelting won the U20 Women’s, Van Dorn placed 2^nd in the U18, a mere 4 seconds from Gold, and Linck placed 3^rd in the U18 Men’s event.

Many would say that cross-country skiing is more difficult than Alpine skiing because moving forward on level terrain or up steep-hill ski trails needs considerably more power, endurance, and speed, making this one of the most grueling cardio events invented. The team trains extremely hard!

“This Nordic season has been pretty good; we have completed all of our mid-Atlantic National qualifying races for the season. We have one more New England Eastern Cup left before we leave for Nationals in Firbank, Alaska. The season has been going very well!” exclaims Wissler.

Kelting states “I’d have to agree, we have a pretty strong team, NYSEF and Northwood are in a great place. The program is definitely growing and is a lot stronger than last year due to our newcomers.

Junior Nationals is the next big thing for the Nordic program at Northwood. We leave March 10^th and then after that we are done for the season. Hopefully next year, after Sophia and I graduate, there are more Nordic skiers at Northwood. There has been some talk about more ski jumpers coming to the Nordic Northwood team.”

The Northwood Nordic team is excited about the future and Sophia and Bella should be proud of the legacy they will leave. The Mirror looks forward to watching this team at the Nationals and wishes them the best of luck!

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports

U19 Soccer Team Repeats at Far Post Showcase

February 18, 2023 by Aly El Mofty

The U17 and U19 Boys’ soccer team recently made their way across Lake Champlain to Burlington, Vermont for the Far Post Showcase. Coming off a great start to the season in Puerto Rico, the boys were excited for their first showcase back. The Northwood Soccer team split into three teams for this 8-per-side showcase, 2 x U17 teams and one U19 team.

On Day 1 of the showcase, the U17-1s were set to face High Mowing U17 and Far Post U17, the U17-2s were set to face Far Post U17 and High Mowing U17, and the 19s were set to face High Mowing U19 and Far Post FC U19. The 17-1s went 2-0 to start the showcase. They beat High Mowing U17 5-0 with an energetic performance and did not slow down as they beat Far Post FC U17 6-1. The U17-2s also beat High Mowing U17 with a final score of 5-2 and drew 2-2 to Far Post U17 in a tight game. The U19s went 2-0 with a very tough 4-3 win over High Mowing U19 and cruised to a 3-0 win against Far Post FC U19 in a very comfortable win.

After a successful first day of the showcase, all three teams were pumped and excited for Day 2. The teams had their last group stage matches before seeing who would advance to the final game of the showcase. The U17-1 squad had a much-anticipated game against the U17-2 team to see who will top the table and advance to the final game. The U17-2 team came out strong and energetic with a 2-0 lead, wanting to prove themselves against their older teammates. The U17-1 team was putting relentless pressure on the U17-2s, looking for any angle to shoot from, but the U17-2 team held off and maintained their excellent organization and defensive grit for most of the game. As the end of the game approached, the U17-2 team finally broke the barrier with a second goal following soon after.

Coach Moodey referred to the U17-2 team as “Hungry and willing to do a lot to prove everyone wrong and beat the U17-1s”. Coach Martinez also commented on the game: “It was good to see both teams competing with each other and showing fight.” After the well-fought battle came to an end, the U17-1 team was named winners of their group as they only needed a draw to maintain that top position. The U19s suited up against Sea Coast U19 and needed a win to top their group, as they were down by a goal difference. After a very tight first 25 minutes of constant defending from Sea Coast, the U19s finally broke the deadlock, slotting one past Sea Coast. Following their first goal, the U19s went on to put 4 more past the Sea Coast defense.

As both the U17-1 team and the U19s topped their groups, they would go on to meet in the final game to decide the winner of the Far Post Showcase. The U17-1s vs. the U19s was a much-anticipated game; it was present vs future, and the U19s felt they needed to put their younger teammates in their place. The U19s did just that, with the final score being 5-0. The U19s ended the showcase with Andres Viteri ’23 being the top scorer with 5 goals, Junior Happi ‘23 in second with 4 goals, and Ean Malay ‘23 with 2. Given the U17-1 team had to play the final straight after the tough match against their U17-2 teammates, it was clear there was fatigue in the younger group.

The U19s were crowned champions of the Far Post Showcase, making the Northwood- Black Rock U19s three-time champions. Both U17s teams played great and had a successful weekend but ultimately fell short. Coach Moodey was happy with the weekend’s performances and how the team kept momentum from Puerto Rico. For the teams, the focus now shifts to next weekend.

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports

Die, Eagles, Die: A Step-By-Step Guide to Losing a Super Bowl

February 18, 2023 by Gus Garvey

Greetings, young fellow. Welcome to Glendale, Arizona, where the names in the building are hot and the temperature is even hotter. You’ve just witnessed one of the greatest Super Bowls of all time. But why did the losing team end up on the wrong side? Let’s hop into the metaphorical classroom for a moment and let me regale you on how Philadelphia blew a 10-point halftime lead in the Super Bowl to lose to a 1-legged quarterback.

The first part of the formula involves its offense humming along like a song. Apart from a fluke defensive touchdown by Kansas City (thank you, vaunted offensive line, for your expert protection on that play), everything went according to plan. 24 points were scored on that Swiss-cheese defense by halftime. Even better, the Eagles’ defense showed us the secret to their recent success by injuring the other team’s quarterback for roughly the 3^rd time these playoffs.

Everything was roses and sunshine for Philly fans at halftime: up by 10, as Mahomes was injected with a black-market cocktail of painkillers and chucked to the wolves, where he scored a touchdown on the opening drive of the 2^nd half, wait, what? This isn’t part of the script. So, we’ve got a game again, haven’t we? This is when the Birds’ offense continues its domination by marching into the red zone but stalls out and kicks a field goal. Injured Mahomes responds with another touchdown to take the lead.

Hey, defense? Are you gonna do something or what? Don’t just stand there and try to break his ankles again, Jesus! No, I didn’t mean your defense, Kansas City! Because of this misplaced encouragement, Philly did something that is all but verboten in a shootout like this; they punted. The penalties for punting are often severe in these games. In this case, it came in the form of a 60-yard return by Gettleman’s baby and an arduous 5-yard touchdown drive by Kermit the frog to extend KC’s lead to 8 points. This is where Sirianni probably threatened to put out a hit on the offense if they didn’t wake up, so cue a long touchdown drive with a 2-point conversion to tie the game up with 5 minutes left. Unfortunately, Sirianni failed to motivate his defense while making his sideline threats. They bend, bend, and bend as the Chiefs push into field goal range. However, with 1:48 left in regulation, the Eagles have KC on a 3^rd and 9. Even better, Mahomes threw it incomplete! Now, what could ruin this?

A fringe holding penalty to give KC an automatic first down and let them burn the Eagles’ timeouts. Sure, the call itself may have been entirely valid, but the refs seriously chose this moment to interfere? When there was so much backlash after the ending of last year’s Super Bowl? Kansas City, predictably, boots the game-winning field goal, and Mahomes breaks the internet for no reason for approximately the 36^th time this season. One of the most obnoxious fanbases in sports gets their laurels to lord it over the rest of us, while another obnoxious fanbase gets to loot and pillage their home city in their version of the Wells Fargo rage room. The only positive to come out of this is that I wasn’t wrong when I predicted the Chiefs to win in my Super Bowl preview. Eagles fans, this is called Karma. Now run off to Cancun with the rest of the fallen, you bums.

I have another pick-me-up under the mistletoe for you guys, too. The Eagles now join an illustrious group of teams to have a double-digit lead at halftime of the Super Bowl, and still lose. The other team to have earned this dubious honor. Yes, the architects of 28-3, and 2016 Atlanta Falcons. Now that’s some fine company. Eagles, you deserve this failure. Now go jump off a pier.

Filed Under: Sports Tagged With: GusOnNFL

Ski Team Has Productive January Break

February 18, 2023 by Ahmed Elganainy

The Northwood Ski team was active over the break with many different events. The FISU World University games provided an excellent opportunity for student-athletes to see the highest level of college ski racing at an International level. The Ski Team comprises many types of skiing, like Cross-Country Skiing, Ski Jumping, Freestyle, and Alpine ski racing. The Northwood team of 32 student-athletes had the chance to train, forerun, and watch these top-level athletes prepare and compete.

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“The goal of integrating our program within the FISU games proves to be a catalyst to dream big because each of the FISU competitors was previously in the shoes of our student-athletes, and if our athletes stay focused on their goals, they will be able to compete on this International stage,” Director of Skiing Tommy Biesemeyer said when asked what the goal of this program was during the FISU games.

Northwood’s athletes participated in many events and further developed their skiing over this long break. The FIS men and women traveled to Sun Valley, ID, from January 5th – January 16th to have proper training when the training space was limited at Whiteface. The team had full-length GS and SL training sessions along with four FIS races at the end of their camp, where they had Olivia Levesque ’24 score her best FIS result to date, 60 pts. When they returned from Sun Valley, our team foreran the FISU Giant Slalom and Slalom races and had the chance to hand out medals during the medal ceremony.

The U16 group is Northwood’s largest group of snowsports athletes, and these student-athletes were located in Lake Placid during the FISU games, where they stayed with Carrie Wardlaw and NYSEF’s Winter Term. Their training consisted of six weekly training days, where they trained alongside FISU athletes. In addition, some athletes foreran and got additional training runs on the FISU Super G track, where they witnessed some of the iciest conditions we have ever seen at Whiteface. The whole experience provided a large volume of training, challenging situations, and exposure to World Cup conditions, which will pay off for their long-term development.

Northwood’s five cross-country and ski jumping athletes put in long days at Mt. Van Hoevenberg and the ski jumps, where they also foreran each day and trained alongside the world’s best collegiate athletes. The course preparation was immaculate and allowed these student-athletes to benefit from top-level conditions. These opportunities helped Northwood’s nordic athletes develop their fitness and skills.

We had one freestyle athlete travel to Gore Mountain each day with his NYSEF coach, and he also had the chance to forerun each competition, hitting the biggest jumps of his life. This opened his eyes to the next level and inspired him to focus on what he needed to learn to compete at this level. “Seeing him come back each day with a smile on his face inspired our staff to push our kids to set big goals,” Biesemeyer said.

So we are all wondering now what is next for the Alpine ski team. The U18 teams are currently participating in the U18 National qualifiers in Vermont. The U16 Team is training at home and preparing for U16 New York State Championships on March 3-5. The Nordic team is getting ready for Junior Nationals in Fairbanks, AK, and the Freestyle team is training at Whiteface and competing each weekend at Titus Mountain.

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports

The Northwood Invitational is Here!

February 10, 2023 by Aidan Lasky

It is an exciting week here at Northwood School because this weekend marks the 43^rd Annual Northwood Invitational hockey tournament. The tourney was pushed back this year due to the FISU Games use of the Olympic Center, but it is happening. All three hockey teams will be competing this weekend, and don’t worry, the schedule is posted below.

In the tournament, athletes will compete Friday through Sunday to have a chance to hoist the trophies. Teams from all over come to see if they can come out on top. Besides exciting hockey, alumni, friends, and student’s families come to watch and visit beautiful Lake Placid. An important side note is that the Prep Team will have their senior night on Friday, so show the graduating players support in that matchup.

This tournament would not be happening if it wasn’t for the fantastic work of Coach and Athletic Director Trevor Gilligan. He works extremely hard each week to put out the school co-curricular schedule, and he has done the same for this tournament. Coach Gilligan said, “The Northwood tournament is always marked on the calendar as an exciting weekend. Not only do all three teams have the opportunity to compete at home for a trophy, but the weekend provides a great getaway for families and alumni to enjoy Lake Placid in the heart of winter!”

As you can see, the school takes a lot of pride in being able to host this amazing tournament. It means a great deal to the players and the school that people come to support the teams, so if you are free, you will not be disappointed in the competition this weekend. We wish the Huskies luck in ending the weekend with their respective trophies. We can’t wait to see you all there. Go Huskies!

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Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports, Top Story

NFL: Eulogizing the Teams That Didn’t Make It

February 8, 2023 by Gus Garvey

Photo by Scott W. Grau/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Yes, some made the playoffs and then faltered, but some missed the playoffs outright. These teams range from the glorious tanks to the mediocre, the injured, and the underachievers. Let us eulogize those that bowed out early this season.

New England Patriots

When Matt Patricia is your offensive coordinator, chances are you won’t make the playoffs. The haters and pundits were proven right this season and then some. To the delight of the rest of the league, the Pats were horrible and sluggish all season long. This included the worst play in NFL history made by the offense against the Raiders and the special teams imitating the Hindenburg in a season-ending loss to the Bills. That’s not the end of the laughter. Meet their new offensive coordinator. The legendary quarterback whisperer, Bill O’Brien! Buttchin is back, baby! Maybe he can ruin Mac Jones as he did Watson.

New York Jets

The Jets’ season went from shocking promise to another butt-fumble by losing 7 of 8 and six straight to close the year. The main culprit of its demise is, unsurprisingly, the offense. No one envies its quarterback situation. Its options are the Hollister model Zach Wilson, the ribless Mike White, or the washed-up check-down sensei Joe Flacco. They might have fired the offensive coordinator to improve it, but the faulty part in this machine has always been the one under center, just like the last 50 years of the Jets’ history. Robert Saleh has pledged faith in helping Wilson develop, but the Jets pick 13th in this year’s draft. Now watch them trade up and completely renege on this statement.

Cleveland Browns

Aren’t you guys so proud, Cleveland? You guys have officially one-upped the Raiders as the NFL’s resident penal colony. They bring in Deshaun Watson amidst a bevy of accusations, immediately sign him to a $300 million extension, and then watch as he gets suspended for 11 games, essentially tanking their season. Even when Watson returned, he was unsurprisingly out of sorts and rusty. No one feels sorry for them over this. Their high draft pick is now Houston property. Enjoy an offseason of hell.

Pittsburgh Steelers

This year was the rebuilding year for the Steelers; that cannot be denied. It’s disappointing to miss the playoffs via a tiebreaker, but this team has so much potential. That defense, just like the last few years, is stacked. I expect Kenny Pickett to make some strides next year, turn the Steelers into playoff hopefuls, and complete one of the fastest rebuilds in NFL history. Unfortunately, given its habit of not firing coaches, Matt Canada will be around next year to bumble around on the sidelines pretending to be a competent coordinator. The rest of the division thanks them for the trouble.

Houston Texans
Yet another year where the Texans imitate the tank of tanks by completely sucking at all things related to football. This year was another rebuilding year for them, which cannot be denied, but Houston was the worst team in the league by a country mile. It all culminated in a 32-31 win in week 18 to completely ruin their tank and fall to the 2nd overall pick behind Chicago. For his tank-destroying buffoonery disguised as a gutsy play call, Lovie Smith was fired after just one year, the second straight head coach for the Texans to suffer this fate. Bill O’Brien sold this franchise’s soul down the river, and it won’t recover for a while. Thanks to the Bears trading the first pick, I am enjoying missing out on Bryce Young.

Indianapolis Colts

This year for the Colts will go down as the year where it was exposed for the organization that it truly is. Frank Reich may have had his flaws, but he gave the Colts a calming, competent presence that served to veil the true nature of the organization. Reich was undoubtedly a reason why Indy was mired in mediocrity but firing him only exposed the true elements holding back the Colts. Let’s be real; they’re still the NFL’s Glue Factory. They haven’t learned a thing from the Luck situation, and Irsay is content with it being this way if he makes money and doesn’t get stripped of the team. It shows in who he brought in to replace Frank Reich: Jeff Saturday. A dude off of TV who had won a Super Bowl with the Colts, sure, but had never been a head coach past the High School level. The dude may have been a charismatic leader of men, but his tactics and game management were terrible, as everyone but Irsay predicted. He got hired as a yes-man and will probably be around next year, as Indy does the same thing. I feel bad for Chris Ballard. The team and roster he carefully cultivated over the past few years have been completely blown up by the previous regime ruining their franchise quarterback. He will also probably be out of a job next year. What a waste of a contending window.

Tennessee Titans

A team with a four-game lead in its division going into Thanksgiving usually makes the playoffs easily. Guess what the Titans decided to do. They lost seven straight to end the year after starting 7-3. Does ownership recognize the symptoms yet? This is a collapse for the ages. The ’18 Steelers and ’08 Bucs can only cringe in disgust at their failure. Their season started ominously, with Fat Randy choking the game against the Giants and getting massacred by the Bills the following week. Then, they rattled off 7 of 8 in a stretch that had them looking like Super Bowl contenders. Their one loss was with a backup QB to Kansas City.

Then, the collapse. They blew the game against Cincinnati after a lineman ran into the kicker. They got owned by the Eagles the following week, and ownership got so jealous that they fired Jon Robinson. It only got worse from there. Jacksonville destroyed their hope by lording over them and injuring Ryan Tannehill. They lost to the Texans in a game they were favored to dominate. They were dominated against the Cowboys in primetime and then lost on a defensive touchdown against the Jaguars to miss the playoffs. Titans fans can complain about how Dobbs’s arm was going forward all they want, but at the end of the day, the only ones they can blame are themselves. They deserve this failure. Now, it’s time to clean house. Their hack of an Offensive coordinator in Todd Downing has been deservedly axed, but I don’t think that’s enough. The issue with the Titans is Vrabel. Sadly, I don’t trust ownership to do the right thing this off-season. Once again, One Yard Short. Or about five on that last check-down they threw.

Denver Broncos

What a complete and utter disaster. A team hailed as a Super Bowl contender before the year was exposed for who they really were; the biggest frauds in the league. Russ’s cooking had worn off before he even entered the Mile High Kitchen. All he produced were burnt turnovers. In trading for him, they gave away the 5th overall pick in the upcoming draft to Seattle. You’d think his offensive play-caller would coach it out of him, right? Now try saying that about Nathaniel Hackett. The Hack was so bad in his brief stint as head coach that the fanbase castigated him after the first game, and then he was fired before the season was over.

You think the Football Gods would show mercy on them after this? Wrong. Ungodly amounts of injuries befell Denver to the point where they were dressing a rec-league team by the end of the year. Even Chef Russ himself went down with a scary concussion. The crazy part is they had the pieces to go far. They just grossly mismanaged them. Their defense was one of the best in football, but everyone else couldn’t do a thing to back them up. Here’s a telling stat. If the Broncos had scored just 18 points in each game they played, they would have finished the year 10-7. Instead, their offense sputtered around and imitated parking cones as defenses ate them alive all year. Now they have backed up a brinks truck onto Sean Payton’s driveway to salvage the situation. For the sake of everyone else’s sanity, I hope they fail. I need my laughs and punching bags.

Las Vegas Raiders

Well, I bet this was a disappointment for Raider Nation. Rather than keeping around the guy the team responded to in Rich Bisaccia, they went for a proven snake in Josh McDaniels. The results were predictable. Let’s be real: Vegas had next to no chance with that clown at the helm. He has ruined Derek Carr, and who knows where he’ll end up next year. This team is Al Davis’s corpse: rotting under the Vegas Strip and decaying into dust. Such a tragic end.

Washington Football Team

Yes, I know they’re the Commies now, but the memes of the Name Redacted franchise will never die. This year, their perennial failure to launch was brought about by a sluggish start and a furious push to make the playoffs, only to lose to the Cleveland Browns and get eliminated from the playoffs. Ron Rivera may have beaten the stuffing out of cancer, but his expiration date with the team has long passed. Do the right thing this offseason. Sincerely, the rest of the NFL.

Detroit Lions

Sure, they may have missed the playoffs in the end, but I don’t think many Lions fans are too upset over how this season went. They overcame a dreadful 1-6 start, storming back with an 8-2 swing, and only missed the playoffs via a tiebreaker. Even better, they swept the Packers for the first time in 5 years, knocking them out of the playoffs in Week 18. This offseason is going to be an interesting one for the Lions. They will pick 6th overall in this year’s draft, and it’ll be interesting to see what they do with that selection. At least they brought joy to us all by knocking out Green Bay. Speaking of which…

Green Bay Packers

The entirety of the football world dances on their grave. The Packers are uninspiring and mediocre once again. They technically were after getting embarrassed by the Niners last year, but Green Bay’s season was god-awful by their standards. They started 3-1, hope abounded, and then they lost 7 of 8 to knock them almost to the brink. Then, they rattled off four straight to make it to a win-and-in game against Detroit. They beat good teams on this stretch. They looked like a contender. And then they got flat-out exposed by a team that doesn’t have a great defense. This season leaves the Pack with more questions than answers. Yes, their young receiver talent showed promise last year, but Aaron Rodgers is upset and wants out for roughly the third straight off-season now. The Raiders and Jets are potential destinations, but who would want that baggage? The last time a Rodgers trade was rumored, he ended up staying put and signing a 9-figure extension. Green Bay better hope they can get something done in the draft, or he will be playing this year with one foot out the door.

Chicago Bears

Behold, everyone, the 2023 TANK BOWL CHAMPIONS!!! Fortunately for the Bears, they already have their franchise quarterback, so they will probably trade down, potentially fleecing a team desperate for QB help. Redemption for the 2017 draft, I guess? Regardless, this will be a massive off-season for Chicago. Their defense showed promise even after being gutted to hell and back, but their offense was flat at best. Their only means of achieving any moment were 60-yard scrambles by Justin Fields, and that’s just not sustainable. Get an interior line and wide receivers, and they’ll be good. Otherwise, it’ll be the same old ineptitude and tanking next year.

Atlanta Falcons

This season leaves Atlanta with more questions than answers. Things looked promising with a 4-4 start. They beat contenders. They would have been leading the division at their bye week if not for Grady Jarrett existing incorrectly in the same backfield as Tom Brady. Then, everything fell apart. Mariota got hurt again, forcing them to trot out 3rd round pick Desmond Ridder as their starter for the end of the year. He was revealed to be rawer than sushi. Incredibly skittish, making questionable choices and rookie mistakes, and needing serious development. They’re going to have an interesting draft. Drake London is less of a game-changer than Pitts and is also in need of development. I’ll await their choices this offseason.

Carolina Panthers

They tried. That’s all that can be said about their season. At 1-4, their season looked done after they got rid of Matt Rhule. Then, they finished the year in a .500 stretch and made Tampa sweat for the division title. The Panthers are at an exciting point. Darnold isn’t their long-term option, but they could trade up to get their quarterback in the draft. Steve Wilks, for his efforts, will not be around as head coach. Instead, they bring in their old quarterback, Frank Reich, to hopefully recreate the magic of his first few years in Indy. They’re interesting going into this off-season. Really interesting.

New Orleans Saints

Imitations rarely live up to the original, but that’s exactly what the Saints did in replicating last year. Like other seasons, they had a strong start, and injuries and Famous Jameis derailed their season. I said it when they got eliminated, and I’ll say it again: When Andy Dalton is getting first-team reps under center in this day and age, you’re done. They will probably go for a quarterback this draft, since Jameis has shown he isn’t ready to be their long-term answer. At least their defense looks good.

Los Angeles Rams

What a mess. The defending champs’ season was over by week 5- literally. Everyone remaining from last year’s Super Bowl got injured or underperformed dramatically. Matthew Stafford, their golden gunslinger under center, was knocked out of action with a neck injury and never returned to play. Their backup, John Wolford, copy-pasted Stafford’s injury, and he, too, was out for the year. With their 3rd string option in Bryce Perkins flopping, they were forced to claim Baker Mayfield off of waivers. He did okay, but the damage was already done. You think the injuries are done? Oh no, there’s even more of a price for that Super Bowl. Next up, their skill positions. Cooper Kupp went down with a high-ankle sprain. Ben Skowronick suffered the same injury. Aaron Donald was struck down midway through on defense and would never return to the field. What’s even worse? Typically, the Rams would receive a high draft pick considering how bad their season was. But remember last year, when they traded all their picks to buy rentals for their Super Bowl run? Guess who’s picking 6th overall in their place this year? Detroit. They laugh in the background as Stafford might not play another down. But they got their ring, though! That’s all that matters, right, Kroenke?

Arizona Cardinals

The injury bowl is a prestigious award that I give at the end of every football season. Unfortunately, I forgot to award it in my week 18 recap along with the Tank Bowl title, so this will have to do instead. Behold one of the most banged-up teams in the NFL. Their entire offense was suspended or injured for most of the year. It got so bad that they were forced to start Colt McCoy on multiple occasions. The coup de gras was Kyler Murray tearing his ACL on a non-contact play. And now he might not be able to play until the middle of the season next year, meaning he will be stuck on his couch playing Call of Duty instead of watching film. Cardinals, you can have no nice things. Kindly go back to being mediocre and uninspired.

Filed Under: Sports Tagged With: GusOnNFL

Prep Team Logs Many Miles – and Wins – in January

February 6, 2023 by Aidan Lasky

Billy Batten ’23 (Photo: Mr. Michael Aldridge)

With the FISU games occupying Northwood, the Prep Hockey team stayed on the road to get the scheduled competition in. The boys traveled from Salem, NH, to Merrimack College and Detroit and made a few stops in Buffalo. Here is what happened in January.

The boys came off winter break eager to participate in the True Prep Cup at Merrimack College, a tournament where the team came in second place the previous year. The Huskies had gotten a bit too comfortable on break because the first game back was difficult to watch. Despite the disappointing performance of the first game, the team achieved a notable victory against Mount Saint Charles. The Huskies had yet to come close to beating them this season. That win marked a highlight of the weekend, but an honorable mention must go to the excellent college hockey the group witnessed while attending a Yale vs. Merrimack game. The boys were grateful for these opportunities and made the most of the weekends.

The team also took this time off to catch up on their college applications and participate in a team reading of The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle. This read allowed the team to learn about the importance of culture in the environments of winning teams, such as the U.S. Navy Seals and the Quinnipiac Men’s Ice Hockey team. The book focused on how culture is ever so important for sports teams and all teams. A group of boys will soon present what they learned from the book, and we will get more insight into how helpful the book can be.

Next on the schedule was spending a week in Buffalo to prepare for the Detroit Prep Hockey Conference Event. During this week, the boys got great skating opportunities at Niagara and Canisius while meeting key members of both programs’ coaching staff. Along with the practices, they also witnessed both college teams practice to see what it looks like at the next level. After the preparation, the team traveled to Detroit to play at the Detroit Red Wings practice facility before the PHC event. The weekend started with a heartbreaking loss against St. Andrews College. The second game went a little better for the first two periods, where the Huskies were up 3-0 on the #1 team in the country, Shattuck St. Mary’s. That changed in the third period when sadly, Shattuck was able to complete the comeback. In the third game, the boys were fired-up by the previous losses and were able to knock off Culver, marking a 1-2 record on the weekend.

To wrap up the month of January, the boys had the annual Macpherson Tournament at St. Andrews College in Canada. This was by far the team’s best performance of the month. The Huskies beat Culver and St. Andrews, both PHC rivals. It showed how the Huskies could perform when they were giving their all. The boys won a stunning four games straight, earning them a spot in the championship game against the GOJHL All-Stars. Sadly, the game resulted in a Northwood loss, but it should not undermine the boys’ performance over the weekend.

It was a hectic month in January, and I wanted to get a player’s opinion on what it felt like to play all this hockey without worrying about being in school. “It was an awesome experience to spend all that time with the team and take advantage of the places we traveled to,” James Schneid ’19 said, “but I am happy to be back at Northwood to finish the season.”

As Schneid mentioned, the team had a blast being on the road, but it was also great to see them doing other things, such as watching college games and reading a book for the team’s benefit. If you see any of the team around, feel free to ask them about their experience. As always, I wish the team good luck as they move toward the season’s final games.

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports

“Good Vibes” and Wins for Soccer in Puerto Rico

February 6, 2023 by Aly El Mofty

Over the break, the Northwood Soccer team had the pleasure of staying in Puerto Rico from the 23rd to the 29th of January for its spring semester preseason. The boys were involved in intense training sessions and several games and also participated in multiple activities, eating traditional Puerto Rican food and bonding with teammates.

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The trip began in the 8th largest city in Puerto Rico, Mayaguez. On day one of the trip, the boys had the opportunity to practice at the University of Puerto Rico. The soccer team enjoyed the training session under the scorching sun before heading to Rincon Beach after breakfast at the University of Puerto Rico. During their tanning sessions, the boys enjoyed the cool water, fresh coconuts, and warm sun.

Liam Burk ’24, the U19 goalkeeper, described the coconut milk as “the best thing I’ve ever tried” and even took a couple of coconuts with him back to the hotel. The boys then enjoyed a short walk into the city of Mayaguez and selected several local places to eat dinner. They enjoyed burgers, poke bowls, and some traditional spicy rice and chicken. They also walked around a local market, where many purchased handmade bracelets.

On day two, the preseason campaign began with the U19 and U17s playing the Edu Soccer Academy of Mayaguez. The U19s secured a 3-0 victory, while the U17s dominated and secured a 6-1 win. After a successful preseason start and a long practice under the sun, they headed to the beach at Playa Buyé. Many boys played beach soccer, explored the coast, paddle-boarded, and once again collected coconuts and enjoyed the natural sweetness. Cedric Lemaire ’24, a defender for the U19s, explored the coastline and even got close up to a bull! A couple of the boys enjoyed the waves and surfed for a few hours. The boys then walked into town for a traditional Puerto Rican dinner consisting of beans, rice, chicken, and plantain. Traditional Puerto Rican food was a success with the soccer boys, to say the least: they requested that meal many times after that night.

The soccer team then made their way up to the capital of Puerto Rico, San Juan, for the third day of the trip. After the two-hour drive, the team made its way to “Coto Beach,” which used to be under Spanish rule. The beach had a lot of old structures from the American/Spanish war and had beautiful views. After exploring the beach and climbing rocks, the boys looked at the items the locals were selling. Many bought custom Puerto Rican bracelets, hats, and coconuts. After a long morning, they headed to the hotel and rested for a bit before heading to dinner. Later in the evening, the team split up into groups, went around the local mall for dinner, and explored the stores and surrounding areas.

The soccer team then had to work on their presentations about each chapter of Atomic Habits book by James Clear. The U17 and U19s were split into groups of 8, and each group was assigned a chapter and given two days to present the main concepts of their chapter.

On day four, the team headed to the San Juan National Historic Site near “Old San Juan.” The group explored the 16th-century historical site for about an hour, learning about why the Del Morro Citadel was important and what was significant about all the old structures built by Spanish power. Later that day, the lads went for lunch in preparation for their game against Bayamon FC. They enjoyed some healthy chicken, pork, beans, and rice. After the boys rested at the hotel for a while, they made their way over to the Bayamon facilities for their games. The U17s played the Bayamon U17s and ended up with a 1-1 draw after a hard-fought match. The U19s dominated their game against the Bayamon U20s with a final score of 2-0. Goals coming from Leo Doyle ’25 (17s), Junior Happi ’23 (19s), and Noah Leddel ’23 (19s).

On day five, the boys spent their morning with some recovery work consisting of ice baths, pool time, and some much-needed napping before the U19s game vs. Quintana later in the day. Before the game, the boys ate authentic Puerto Rican food, followed by game-day snacks. The boys suited up against the Quintana pro team, one of the most challenging opponents they have faced this season. The U19s had one of their best performances against Quintana and ended the game with a 2-0 victory. Goals were from Sachiel Ming ’24 and Junior Happi ’23. The level of physicality and mature play was hard to play against at first, but the boys adapted well and played their style of football which were too much for Quintana. Coach John Moodey claimed, “this was the best game I’ve seen you lads play so far this year, and it is a sign of good things to come!” The victory was a clear step in the right direction for the U19s, preparing them for the tough season.

After an excellent recovery session under the sun, the lads headed to a local Puerto Rican golf course on the sixth day. They enjoyed beef ribs, fried chicken, pork, beans, and rice. Later that day, they were given some time to explore the hotel’s surrounding areas and rest up before heading out to dinner at one of the highest-rated authentic restaurants in San Juan. The soccer team enjoyed breaded beef, grilled chicken, plantain burgers, and rice mixed with vegetables.

On the seventh day, the boys presented their Atomic Habits questions in their respective groups. Each group had to act out a skit explaining the themes of their chapter. Each person followed this from the group focusing on a specific element of the chapter and how it relates to daily habits and self-betterment. Six groups presented in total, making sure all areas of the book were covered. Group discussions and questions from the audience followed the presentation. After completing their presentations, the boys headed to Martins BBQ, a Puerto Rican barbeque spot near the hotel. This was their pre-game meal ahead of day 1 of the Combine Sports College Showcase. The U17s kicked off the showcase against Surf Club, dominating possession for most of the game and had many chances on goal but were very unlucky, and the game finished 1-1, with the goal from Mitchell Baker ’25. The U19s kicked off their showcase vs. Ivy League FC. Ivy was organized in their defensive structure, which was a challenge for the U19s. Still, they ultimately broke the deadlock and achieved a 3-0 victory with goals from Jordan Shullenberger ’23, Andreas Viterri ’24, and Ming ’24.

Ahead of their evening games on day 8, the boys enjoyed a morning at Cangrejo Arriba beach, where many tanned, body surfed, played beach soccer, and even had a sandcastle-building competition. The crowned winners of the 2023 Puerto Rico sandcastle competition were Nate Wright ’25, Hamish Riddell ’26, and Trey Frantz ’25, with an impressive life-size sand sculpture of a sea turtle. The previous day, Martin’s BBQ was a hit, so the boys made their way there again and had a nice lunch. The U17s faced the hosts Combine Sports U17 in a much-anticipated game. The match began slowly, but as time went on, the intensity picked up. After a great battle, the U17s prevailed with a 3-2 victory over Combine Sports, with goals coming from Baker ’25 (2), and AJ Etumnu ’25.

Coach Martinez of the U17s described captain Mitchell Baker as “the most consistent player and leader for the U17s all season, and he has not slowed down in his goalscoring.” He also described Leo Doyle as “one of our most consistent players this year, who hasn’t stopped raising his level since the start of the year.”

The U19s also faced Combine Sports U19s in an intense matchup. The Combine U19s were energetic and hungry for the win over Northwood School/Black Rock FC, but the U19s kept their composure and played their style of soccer, which ultimately saw them prevail with the final score of 2-0. Goals came from Ming and Happi. Coach Moodey described the game as “physical and messy, but I am happy that we ground out the result.”

As the trip ended, the boys had breakfast at the hotel for one final time and some downtime before going out for lunch. The boys headed to Borrillos Bayamon, a burrito and quesadilla near the hotel. After a nice, enjoyable Mexican food meal, the boys returned to the hotel to rest up before the final game of their preseason. The U17s faced off against the Bayamon 17s for their final game, looking to get a win since the last encounter ended in a draw. As the game progressed, the Bayamon players continued to employ dirty tactics to throw off the Northwood U17s. The boys stayed disciplined and did not get involved. After a very hard-fought game, the U17s lost 1-3, with their lone goal coming from co-captain Baker. The U19s faced off against Bayamon’s U20 team in the last game of their preseason campaign, hoping to go undefeated by winning all six of their games. Tension was in the air after both teams watched the U17 team’s games, giving the game some meaning. The U19s moved the ball exceptionally well, dealt with opposition pressure as well as possible, and were clinical in front of goal, ultimately leading them to a 3-1 victory, making them showcase champions and undefeated for the Puerto Rico preseason campaign. Goals came from Ming, Sam Knauf ’24, and Leyson Mosquera Losada ’23. Following two hard-fought games, the boys earned a $25 budget for dinner in downtown San Juan near the old city. After a fantastic preseason, the soccer team enjoyed selecting their restaurants and had a great last night.

Coach Martinez praised the U17s team for staying disciplined, executing their play, playing football the right way, having a good response to adversity, going through major learning curves throughout each game, and matching physicality while playing their style of play. He praised co-captain Koah Paye ’24. “Koah had a successful preseason. He held down the defensive line and was rock solid at the back, even though he was playing out of position.” He also praised Diego Green ’25. “Green was the emerging player for the U17s this preseason. He started to play with more confidence, had more consistent games, and looked like he will contribute more in the second half of the season.”

On the U19s side, captain Thebe Mosehathebe ’23 praise the trip. “As a team, we grew in many ways. It was good to get some downtime together. We had good weather, played good soccer, and had good vibes in preparation for our difficult upcoming schedule.” Turner Jackson ’23 said, “what more could we ask for? We had good weather, all wins, good team morale, and we are stepping in the right direction.”

The Northwood Soccer team had a very successful preseason campaign in Puerto Rico and will look to keep that momentum going for the remainder of the year. This trip meant a lot to every one of the players as it was much more than just soccer. It allowed them to know one another better, create lifelong memories, and experience once-in-a-lifetime activities together. It was a great trip and a great way to start the new year.

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports, Top Story

FISU Games an Opportunity for Northwood to Give Back

February 4, 2023 by Mitchell Baker

Last month, Lake Placid hosted the FISU Winter World University Games. FISU, the Fédération Internationale du Sport Universitaire or the International University Sports Federation, is responsible for organizing and governance of worldwide sports competitions for student-athletes between the ages of 17 and 25). The Winter World University Games is the largest multi-sport winter event outside the Winter Olympic Games. The games combined high-level competitive sports with educational and cultural events in Lake Placid and nearby towns.

The first World University Games were held in 1923, and the USA had previously hosted the event only twice, the Winter Games in Lake Placid in 1972 and the Summer Games in Buffalo in 1993. The January 2023 Winter World University Games was Lake Placid’s largest winter sports event since the 1980 Winter Olympics. Lake Placid hosted a smaller Winter Goodwill Games in 2000.

The event brought life to Lake Placid. The Lake Placid community was genuinely entertained by the competition in over 85 medal events. Over 1,400 athletes representing more than 50 countries competed, creating an atmosphere of diversity and excitement. Over 11 days, crowds cheered, and Main Street was full of festivity, including fire dancers, ice sculptures, medal ceremonies, concerts, and more. Fifty countries came together as the spirit of the games rang through.

Northwood School was honored to host the FISU athletes, allowing them to utilize our entire campus, including dormitories, dining room, and athletic facilities. The FISU takeover of Northwood’s campus resulted in a later start to the second semester. Instead of Northwood students returning to campus in early January, students returned to school on the 30^th of January—an additional month of break. Was it worth it?

Northwood School benefited a lot from the FISU Games, both financially and reputationally, as the school was able to build social capital within the community, thus enhancing its stature throughout the region. Athletes worldwide were impressed with Northwood’s facilities and genuinely amazed by the opportunities and resources Northwood students could access.

Mr. Tom Broderick, Associate Head of School for External Affairs and Director of the Annual Fund, was Northwood’s liaison to the FISU Games. He said closing the campus for the Games was well worth the inconvenience. “Northwood benefited in several different ways,” Broderick said. “We were able to form relationships with athletes and organizations from around the world. We were also able to connect with WPTZ. News Channel 5. We allowed them to use the Innovation Hub for various interviews. WPTZ broadcasted Northwood commercials in its programming, providing publicity across the nation. FISU and Northwood negotiated an accommodating deal that benefited both parties.”

But what about the students? Parents and students were concerned about the month off, particularly given the school fees. After all, this was the first time the school altered its schedule like this since the 1980 Olympics. During the extended break, students had opportunities to experience new things. Northwood offered several LEAP programs, including an expedition to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro and a trip to Saint Lucia in the Caribbean. Athletic programs used this time to participate in off-campus training camps or tournaments.

The soccer team experienced diverse culture in Puerto Rico. “I was so glad we were able to travel to Puerto Rico. I experienced a new culture and got to escape the devastating cold. Lake Placid would have been dull during this time because Main Street would have been closed. There would be nothing to do in Lake Placid, so I am really glad the school allowed the FISU athletes to stay on campus,” said Trey Frantz ’25, a day student on the soccer team.

The extensive student offerings during the January break were affordable or free to students’ families. “The deal covered the costs for the activities and trips we made with the FISU.”

Boderick noted that operating the school as usual during the Games wasn’t an option. “It would have been a logistical nightmare if the students were to stay in Lake Placid. The closure of Main Street would render the Innovation Hub inaccessible, and the FISU athletes would have used the Ice Hockey Rink. The Northwood hockey teams would have had to travel 1 hour to Plattsburgh every day to train, which was not a valid option,” Broderick noted.

Having the FISU athletes stay at Northwood School was crucial to the success of the games, which in turn was essential to the economy of Lake Placid. The New York Government gave $500 million to the town to upgrade its winter sports facilities, in addition to $125 million to upgrade area hotels and infrastructure. This investment in local facilities and infrastructure was critical for the evolution of Lake Placid and, of course, benefits our school.

There is some talk that Lake Placid could collaborate with Montreal or even New York City for the 2030 Winter Olympics, but Japan is the frontrunner at this stage. The town, however, plans to bid for the Youth Winter Olympics.

Hosting the FISU games was indeed worth it. The money was never the motivating factor, but rather the opportunity to give back to a community that has provided Northwood School with so much. It was our duty to give back and contribute to the event as best we could. Northwood is proud to be a part of such a caring, vibrant, and beautiful town and region. The growth of Lake Placid and its people benefits us all. We are proud to help Lake Placid host a successful event and shine on the global stage.

Filed Under: Northwood Life, Sports, Top Story

A Flyover of the Western Conference at the All-Star Break

February 4, 2023 by Gus Garvey

The west is much more intriguing than in years past, if only because there aren’t that many true favorites to make it out over the others. The playoff contenders in this conference are all relatively balanced, which should make for an exciting finish to the season. Here’s how the 16 teams in the west are doing this All-Star Break.

Dallas Stars

Dallas is experiencing what San Jose and Vegas did in their first years under Pete DeBoer. This Stars team has finally found the scoring touch that they’ve been lacking for the better part of a decade now. Dallas is one of the most electric teams in the league this year, with Jason Robertson emerging as a superstar and guys like Roope Hintz starting to come out of their shells as well, with several hat-tricks to boot. In goal, their brick wall from the playoffs in Jake Oettinger has chosen to maintain his stellar form by stopping everything in sight once again. They’re an exciting group headed into this playoff push. A deep playoff run might be on the menu if everything goes right for them.

Winnipeg Jets

I can’t tell if this team is legitimately good or if everyone is playing way over their heads. The scoring being dominant, I get, it’s Winnipeg, but the defense? Wasn’t that one of their more considerable weaknesses over the past few years? Having Connor Hellyebuck recapture his 2018 form helps with that, but the Jets have been giving their Vezina-caliber goalie more help than usual this year. They’re hitting a bit of a skid going into the All-Star Break, but barring a collapse, they should make the playoffs. Don’t even think about it, Jets.

Minnesota Wild

I need Minnesota to tell me what they are before I judge them. Are they the team that starts the year unable to play defense? Are they the juggernaut that rattles off 6 in a row? Or are they the mediocre squad that couldn’t hold onto a lead for their lives? So far, we’ve seen all three of these, and there’s no telling which version we’ll get for the second half of this season. They’ll probably buy at the deadline again, but those Parise and Suter dead-cap hits loom large. They might have convicted Chuck Fletcher of sins in absentia, but they can’t recover. Maybe they’ll win more than two playoff games this time around.

Nashville Predators

The Preds, despite all of the offseason moves, are still the mediocre washup that doesn’t want to admit the glory days are over. They’re still a talented team, but they’re by no means a cup contender right now. The west is too stacked for them to do anything this year, so their only options are to sell at the deadline or limp into the playoffs to get massacred by Dallas or Winnipeg. The catfish will rain down with impunity soon. Maybe they can make a chant about how much everyone besides Jusse Saros sucks this year.

Colorado Avalanche

Cup hangover? The Avs are still blacked out well into the next day if that’s the case. The whole team has had enough injuries to rival North Korea, but the team has struggled to round into form this year. They’ll have these moments where they look like the juggernaut of last season, only to lay a massive egg and fall apart against inferior competition. I’m not that worried, though. They’ll probably buy at the deadline, and even if they make it in as a wild card, they’ll still have a chance. We all know what can happen if they get rolling. The question is if they can figure out how.

St. Louis Blues

Nazem Kadri broke this team last year. This season has been nothing but toxicity and arrogance from the Blues, but they haven’t done a thing to back it up. Jordan Binnington is once again elite… in the antagonizing department. Taking cheap shots at unsuspecting players, trying to fight opposing goalies, and getting in the grill of other teams when they’ve done nothing wrong is a surefire way to end up on the good-guy list. The Blues have lost the fire they’ve had in seasons past, and the rumors swirling have them as deadline sellers, too. Craig Berube may be on thin ice soon, and Tarasenko and O’Reilly will probably be dealt this march for some peanuts. It’s too bad, St. Louis. You guys have one cup, and then you’re back to the incredible failure of years past. See you in another 50 years.

ASU Coyotes

Behold, the NHL’s rendition of the Chargers moving to LA! It’s easy to sell out every home game when you can only fit 5,000 fans in the “arena.” Even then, opposing teams’ fans still dominate the Coyotes’ games. This team is deep in a tank, and the only thing they’ll win this year would be Connor Bedard. Trade for Taylor Hall at the deadline. You can thank me later.

Chicago Blackhawks

Sadly, a team with Toews and Kane on the same line is as bad as the Blackhawks are. This team was supposed to take a step forward this year; instead, they’ve fallen to the point where they’re out-tanking the Coyotes. This is another team taking a deep dive for Bedard, and Toews and Kane are likely to get dealt to real teams come this deadline. Chicago is in a sports dark age right now, and it doesn’t look like the Hawks will help with their plight. Cheers.

Seattle Kraken

Now we’re seeing why so many people last offseason were so high on the Kraken. It’s taken a year, but the hype they had after their expansion has finally been realized. The most significant difference, though, has been in the net, which seems to be the piece that has fit the entire puzzle together. Last year, Phillip Grubauer experienced a massive regression, turning into swiss cheese and giving up endless goals to the opposition. This year, he’s recaptured the form that made him a Vezina finalist in Colorado. The rest of the team, and their young core, are starting to emerge to the point where they are leading the division going into the All-Star Break. Even the optimists didn’t see this out of them. Impressive.

Vegas Golden Knights

Early in the season, this team looked unstoppable. Vegas had all their injured guys back from last year, and Thompson was playing way over his head. Alas, they had to regress to the mean, to the delight of all hockey traditionalists against putting the team there. Vegas has lost control of the division to Seattle and are playing .500 hockey going into the All-Star Break. At least they’ll have those future considerations to cling to, as they will probably be a second-round exit this year.

Los Angeles Kings

I thought this team had what it took to make the next step this year. This year reminds me a lot of last year, except this time they actually have expectations of being more than a bottom-feeder. Their rebuild got a big shot in the arm this offseason by getting Kevin Fiala from Minnesota, and so far, he’s been everything he was advertised as at the beginning of the year. However, their Achilles heel this year is goaltending. Quick looks like he’s finally starting to fall off, and his replacements have been substandard. His backup, once given the starting role, was a dumpster fire. But Phoenix Copley, am I right? Nope. He was chased out of a game after giving up two to Nashville in the first 40 seconds. They’ll need to get that part of the machine fixed and fast. The grace period is finite, and the Kings will be at the end of it pretty soon. The bandwagon Angelinos will not tolerate more playoff futility for very long. The Ducks can tell you how that goes.

Edmonton Oilers

Wasn’t this team supposed to be good this year? I guess not. Unfortunately, you need more than one competent line and no overpaid albatrosses of defensive contracts to succeed in this league. McDavid and Draisaitl are beasting, but the rest of the roster has been lacking. That playoff run last year is looking more and more like a fluke. The Jay Woodcroft luster has worn off, and he has been revealed to be in the same boat as most Oilers coaches before. With how insufferable Oiler fans were last year during their run, no one feels sorry for them.

Calgary Flames

Cup contenders. We thought the Flames would be cup contenders this season. Why does this team take every single expectation and completely defecate on it? It happened last year when they got to face Mike Smith in the playoffs, and it’s happened before then in pretty much every other season. Remember over the summer when we were all fawning over Brad Treliving and his brilliance when putting together this year’s roster? Turns out we all drank the Kool-Aid on this team. The Flames have, once again, produced nothing in the regular season but horrific underachieving. They can’t even use not having Johnny Hockey as an excuse; he’s been horrible with Columbus since being traded. This team got carried on Markstrom’s back for most of last year, and it shows. I’ll await the inevitable first-round exit.

Vancouver Canucks

Typically, in this segment, I’d talk about how Vancouver failed to take off. I’d be talking about how the new management made the first good move of their tenure by fleecing the Isles for a rental in Bo Horvat. I would also mention how the underachieving of the core, in large part, led to the Horvat trade. That is all irrelevant. You can’t talk about the Canucks these days without mentioning BBQ Bruce. The way top brass dragged their feet when choosing to part ways and hung him out to dry for over three weeks is grounds for all the abuse under the sun. They realize the entire fanbase lost faith in them over this debacle, right? There’s zero trust in Aquilini and his minions to do the right thing anymore. The Canucks, even without Trader Jim Benning, are still being run by a bunch of clowns. This move is their magnum opus. Enjoy being unlikeable and mediocre for the next half-decade.

San Jose Sharks

The Sharks are roughly in the same predicament as the Penguins and Capitals. The only problem is that the fossils they’re keeping around have completely sucked instead of using necromancy to revive the glory years. Most of the team sucks this year, but the main culprit for this team is its goaltending — if you could even call it that. Devan Dubnyk retired before the season, so the Sharks have been stuck with an aging James Reimer and the perennial backup Kappo Kahkonen. In terms of performance and metrics, this is one of the worst goalie tandems in the league. The sieves they call defensemen aren’t doing a good job helping, either. Besides an unprecedented throwback year from Erik Karlsson that probably does nothing but increases his trade value at the deadline, there’s nothing back there. This team will be spinning the tires for a while, and the SAP center will continue to be a cavern on a nightly basis. Timo Meier and Kevin LeBanc will also probably be gone. Such a tragic end.

Anaheim Ducks

Picture the scene in front of you. A majestic tank comes rolling down the street toward you. You are already dazzled by its awe and might, but then it sprouts several limbs and appendages and turns into every field marshal’s dream. That would be the Ducks. Behold one of the most hilarious tank jobs this year in the NHL. The tanks are beyond rolling into view. It’s gotten to the point where they’re driving themselves off cliffs—such epic failure. The funniest part is that Anaheim treated the offseason like they were contenders. They saw the overachieving last year and decided to add to it. Adding all those former Rangers only turned Anaheim into a watered-down version of them. They were devoid of scoring touch and defense and were carried to their few wins by John Gibson. Even then, his back is close to breaking again from his imitation of Atlas lifting the Ducks organization. This team has been the worst in the league this year. It was so bad that they didn’t even get a regulation win until Thanksgiving. They haven’t scored more than five goals in a game all season. That’s near historical failure. It’s gotten to the point where the fans hope they lose so they can ruin Connor Bedard next season. Congratulations, you’re the 2014 Buffalo Sabres. Enjoy the rest of your pathetic season in limbo.

In terms of playoff predictions, it’s anyone’s race. The only teams that are really out of it are Chicago, the Sharks, and Anaheim. Everyone else at least has a shot. The divisional berths will go to Winnipeg, Dallas, the Avs in the central, and the Kraken, Kings, and Vegas in the Pacific. The wild cards are, well, wild cards. I see Minnesota and Calgary making it this year. See you at the deadline.